Hunters:Family Portrait
by BlazeorFade
Summary: Dean, Sam and Jack reflect on each other. Told in the first person.
1. Dean

**Title: Family Portrait**

**Author: BlazeorFade**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Dean, Sam and Jack ruminate on each other. Told in the first person.**

**Disclaimer: I own Jack, but not the boys but y'all knew that already.**

**Dean Winchester**

All my life I was taught to respect women. Even a one-night stand doesn't deserve to be treated with anything but respect. Dad would beat me senseless if he ever heard of me mistreating a female, not that I ever would.

All my life I've always thought that women were to be protected. Not because they were weaker, but because the Winchester history with women made us a bit possessive and aggressive when it comes to any that might wander into our lives, even temporarily. I still feel this way, its been ingrained in me and Sammy. But now there's Jack. Jack is tough as nails, cocky as all hell and independent.

Occasionally a bit of a soft side shows through though. Like when she spent hours letting Sam grill her on everything Jess said or did when she came to her when she was 'asleep'. She repeated what happened ten different ways and the boy still had more questions. Or how she took care of him in the backseat when he had a vision during the fight with the Schneewittchen, careful and soothing. And keeping Madeleine sure that she's still alive and kicking even if the woman doesn't know exactly what we do everyday. Things like that.

When we wander into the occasional bar guys stare at Jack, follow her with their eyes, she says its great because their so busy looking at her pretty face that they don't notice the hand lifting their wallets. She hasn't picked pockets since hooking up with us though. I thought it was a little disturbing how she was able to think of her looks as another tool in her arsenal. So I watch close now, but Jack will usually flirt for bit and then get bored with whoever she was talking with and walk back to Sammy to keep him company while I hustle pool or poker. Its hilarious. I've seen her walk away mid-sentence, like a cat who just caught sight of something shiny.

Jack throws herself headfirst into everything she does. She doesn't do things half assed. When we first told her to come on the road with us she was adamant that it would be trouble, that she wasn't anyone's 'protector', which is such a load of bullshit. She's a fighter through and through. But when she decided to come on the road with me and Sam, she fell right into the job like it was breathing.

She has a dark past. Hell who doesn't in this gig? You don't go to school on career day and say you want to hunt demons and ghosts for a living. This is a job that's dropped on you like a brick. You either go with it, run from it or you let it kill you. I can see there's pain that goes bone deep in her , I'd like to know what happened. I know the story behind all Sam and Dad's scars but not Jack's, not yet. She's not the kind of person that you just come out and ask for her life story, pretty sure if I got her drunk she'd tell some interesting stories. But then there's the whole angry, fire wielding warrior chic thing, so yeah, I'm not up for pissing Jackie off any time soon, thanks.

I get it, I'm curious but I'm not going to pry. She wants to tell us someday and we'll be here.

There are times when each of us gets a tired, withdrawn, overwhelmed. I try to keep it from happening but its a given. When Sam goes through that I'll know he's alright when he goes in for one of his damn chick flick moments. Jack will just slip back into the old routine, a smirk or a smartass comment being the only indication its okay again. Sam calls it 'Jack-ism'. Its half snark, thirty percent body language, ten percent brutal truth and ten percent laughter.

Jack is strong, but every now and then, rarer even then those moments of softness there's a flash of pain, a mask of avoidance and another crack in the façade of everything's okay, I can handle it alone. But that doesn't mean shit. Half the time I think I'm breaking too. The other half I know I am.

"Hey Dean. Whatcha doin? We gotta go?" Jack is asking poking her head into the room.

"Nothin. I'll be there in a minute." I reply.

"Can I drive?" She asks. I laugh because, well that's just funny. She scowls.

"Fine I'm telling Sam it was your idea to put chili pepper in his coffee the other day." Jack says.

"I think the fact that it was in my coffee not his will speak for itself." I remind her.

"Oh right." She tugged on her hair, realizing she'd just given herself away.

"You know you're dead now right?" I ask her with a raised eyebrow.

"I've accepted my fate." She says with feigned graveness.

"Go put the bags in the trunk." I order her snickering.

"Yeah that'll work, now say pretty please." She snorts. She walks away humming that song she always hums. The one that describes every day of our lives.

-fin


	2. Sam

**Title: Family Portrait**

**Author: BlazeorFade**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Dean, Sam and Jack ruminate on each other. Told in the first person.**

**Disclaimer: I own Jack, but not the boys but y'all knew that already.**

**Sam Winchester**

Dean is a lot smarter than he acts. He built a freakin EMF from an old walkman, for fuck's sake. That's why I get frustrated when he just doesn't get it. Then he'll do something like, oh I don't know, save my life and I just can't stay mad at the bastard anymore. Then a few hours will pass and he'll say something and then it'll be back to me wanting to thrash him. Not that I'd get the chance Dean would see me coming from a mile away. Dean is smart with his hands, he knows how things work and how to make them work.

He was always the better hunter and maybe I was jealous of that as a kid. But I was also proud. My brother saved lives, my brother killed the monster in the closet and laughed about it later. This job always seemed to come natural for him and he made it seem easy, I knew better but still. Up till I was about sixteen Dean was my hero. That is so embarrassing. I'll deny it if you tell him I said that, he'd never let me live it down..

I think I was jolted out the hero worship faze when I started questioning my dad, when I started wanting to know why instead of just following orders and Dean didn't. I wanted him to be on my side like he was on my side in every other fight all our lives. But Dean wouldn't take sides and I hated that.

He took my side when Dad came back into our lives. Not once but twice, some part of me that was still sixteen felt like it was Christmas morning. I think I was even more shocked than Dad.

Dean is more complex than he lets on. I know because I still have to work to figure out what is going on behind those careful eyes. He's twice as guarded as he was before I left. I'm to blame for that. Dean still expects to be left. I didn't believe it when the shape shifter told me that but I put the pieces together from his half started statements and actions. He says I don't want to know what happens in his head. But it would've helped if at least I got a decoder ring or a manual or something when I first came back. I'm almost fluent in Dean now though. Its part listening hard to what tape he shoves into the cassette player and what song he fast forwards to.

'Back in Black' blared the night he got me at Stanford. It took me a bit to get that. I don't think he even does it intentionally. The music just reflects who he is. I think I'm starting to like the music, I'll never him that though. Jack's right, the man's a music Nazi.

Sometimes I envy how easy things just roll off Dean's back. Like he always just knows its going to be fine. That he's going to make it be fine. And the funny thing is, a lot of the time it is fine. Not great, not fixed, but we'll survive, the three of us, because that's what we do.

To my brother family is everything, the end all be all. Above the hunt, above everything else. Dean will kill for us. Dean will die for us too. Ready and willing, though that's never plan A. That scares the hell out of me. I don't want Dean to die for me. Please……I can't lose anymore people.

Last night I couldn't sleep, terrified by a nightmare(not the premonition type, I can differentiate them now) that one day I'll wake up to my father or my brother pinned to ceiling because of me. When that happened I told myself that Dad's far away and I know he's safe 'cause he just called to leave coordinates before we turned in for the night. Then I looked across the room and saw Dean looking at me sleepily.

"Nightmares?" He asked me and I can see his hand ease up from the knife under his pillow.

"I'm fine." I said and we both know it means that I'm not.

Then this morning he asks if I slept okay. And I say yes and within ten minutes of being stretched out in the backseat I'm down for the count. The last sounds I hear before falling asleep are Jack playing keep away with Dean's Metallica tape and him threatening bodily harm if she doesn't give it back. I'm trying not to laugh, don't poke the bear folks, it never ends well for the poker. It feels safe to fall asleep with them sitting not a foot from me. I feel almost like it'll be okay.

-fin

AN: This concept just sort of popped into my head while I was writing ch.12 of Possession (don't worry it'll be up soon). And I just decided to run with it and see where it took me. Reviews please. Thank You.


	3. Jack

**Title: Family Portrait**

**Author: BlazeorFade**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Dean, Sam and Jack ruminate on each other. Told in the first person.**

**Disclaimer: I own Jack, but not the boys but y'all knew that already.**

**Jack Fontenot**

Sam is a hard one to pin down. The boy broods more than anyone I ever met and I've met my fair share of people. He's stubborn and argumentative and a blast to tease. I can tell Sammy was a bit sheltered, as sheltered as someone raised in this line of work can be. He looks innocent and has an almost innocent belief that he's responsible for me now that I'm on the road with the boys. He doesn't say it, but I know. Some days I'll call him on it other times I don't even notice anymore. I can admit that I need someone to be there, never out loud though. Then I'd have to kill whoever heard it and the police just tend to frown on that sort of thing.

Sometimes I look at Sam and I see Chris. There are a lot of contrasts there, of course, in some ways they have barely anything in common. Chris smoked like a chimney, Black & Mild. Every time I smell vanilla its like I'm right back in our old apartment's or wherever we were staying. The rare times that Dean lights up Sam is on the laptop and pulling up pictures of cancerous lungs and Emphysema patients. Dean usually responds by blowing smoke in Sam's direction before taking it outside to pull another drag or two before stomping it out. Chris was a compulsive flirt(that's where I get it from alright) and a big kid sometimes. Sam doesn't ever hit on girls when we go out and its not for lack of attention from them either and when he takes a serious turn its hard to remember that he's barely twenty three.

In other ways they have a lot in common. The visions used to take Chris to breaking point. Sam hasn't gotten them that bad in comparison but he's got Dean and whether he knows it or not he's got me to, just like my uncle did. Sam has the 'baby of the family syndrome', a little selfish, prone to self-centeredness and my uncle had that too. He was daddy's younger brother, the youngest in the whole family until I came along, so he was allowed to run wild in his youth. He had less to be responsible for. I think the parallel there is pretty obvious. In those ways I see Chris when I look at Sam.

When I don't though…Sam is smart. Really smart. Probably smarter than most of the people I've known. He's good with being a sympathetic ear to the people we help. Maybe its the puppy dog look thing. Maybe its because when Sam asks you what's wrong or tells you one of those endearments of his, he means it. Makes you want to tell the truth. That's good when we need to know something and bad when he turns it around on Dean and I. The truth is a double edged blade, is it worth it if it means another layer of innocence pealed away? How should I know? I'm not the philosophical type.

Sam and John really are a lot alike in some ways. It didn't take me long to figure that out. That's why they fight so much. Put those two tempers and that brand of stubbornness on different sides of an argument and there's bound to be trouble. I wonder if John was a younger son too? I'll have to ask Dean one of these days.

Sam genuinely loved Jessica. She seemed cool too. Maybe we'll get to talk again, which is weird even by my standards, but whatever. He asked me so many questions about my conversation with her.

"She wasn't sad?" He asked looking stricken

"No" I said, watching in fascination as the emotions changed like rapid fire. How does he do that?

"Did she say anything about me?" He asked turning hopeful.

"Of course. She told me you were hers. That you would have gotten married." I told him. He blushed a little at that and his eyes filled.

"Jack…I…Thank you" Sam said looking at me so earnestly  
"Hey, keep your eyes on the road." I said. Because your welcome is so over rated.

I know the hunt isn't what Sam wanted, you don't go to Stanford to end up fighting monsters. I ran from this for years, not on the same way or for the same reason. But I ran too. I know it'll never be over for me and I'm okay with that. I wonder if Sam had a moment where he realized this or if he'll run again someday.

The Winchester men have taken me in. Missouri told me that they'd never done something like this before. And I worry that the bulls eye on my back will bring more trouble than I'm worth. Sam fears the Deva killing the people close to him. We have that inherent guilt in common. That and our abilities, though different from each other. While we're all together(part of me can't wrap my head around not having to leave or being left yet) I want to teach him how to use them, help him not to be afraid of what he can do.

"Jack, hungry? Oh wait look who I'm asking." Sam is turning in the passenger seats to tell me. Dean snickers and doesn't manage to duck the pen cap I throw at him.

"Cherry Coke and slim jims. Breakfast of queens." I tell Sam.

"Its after twelve." Sam says.

"See, that's why you're the brains of this operation." I tell him with a smirk. Sam rolls his eyes and runs inside.

He hasn't had a vision in over two weeks and its obvious by his lighter mood. I hope it lasts.

-fin

AN: I might add another chapter for John's thoughts on the three as he watches from afar. haven't decided yet.


	4. John

**Title: Family Portrait**

**Author: BlazeorFade**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Dean, Sam and Jack ruminate on each other. Told in the first person.**

**Disclaimer: I own Jack, but not the boys but y'all knew that already.**

**John Winchester**

I check in on them occasionally. They don't know it. I watch from a distance as I search for the thing that destroyed our lives. I never stay long and I never approach them, as far as they know I'm somewhere across the country. I only let myself see them every two months like clockwork. I've even watched them on a couple of jobs. They work well together, the three of them.

Dean takes the role of leader always in the front of the fray with Jack and Sam flanking, never behind him, always at his side. He's going to be better than me really soon. I don't know whether that makes me proud or scares the hell out of me. What will he do when the demon the killed Mary is dead? Will he continue hunting? He's never known any other life. I wanted more for him than this and I don't want him going down guns blazing. I want him to have a home and a life that's more than violence and ammunition.

I have to admit though, watching him burn through these things it looks like he was made for this job. He keeps his brother going when its all gone to hell, he kept me going for a long time too. I just wish I had realized it before. Dean's been the anchor of the family, the joker, always saying something or doing something to crack some of the tension of just everyday shit.

Sam is getting stronger as a psychic and a hunter. His instincts have been getting sharper, keener. There are times when I swear he's going to look up and know that I'm there checking in on them in secret. Pretty soon I know he will. He's grown a lot in the past year. Getting hit by a truck will do that I guess. I look at him and I still see my youngest, the baby of the family. Its hard to see the man he's become but I'm damn proud when I do. When I look at Sam I see the life he should have led, with that girl he loved. I'm sorry she died, I'm sorry he had to feel that pain. But I am not sorry to have my son back in my life, scarce as I have to be with them. I will never be sorry about that.

I went to see Sam a few times at Stanford. He never knew it of course. When he and his girlfriend were first moving into their apartment I bluffed my way into the building the week before they were supposed to move in, dressed as a house painter and I laid the strongest runes I could find into the walls and painted over them and no one was the wiser. I had to keep my son safe. We were both too stubborn back then to bend after that last fight. Nothings changed. We're both stubborn bastards still but now I'd like to think I know better, and Sam knows better.

Jack was an anomaly I couldn't make heads or tales of at first. She fit right in with the boys like it was the next logical step and all of us were all too blind to see it, even though we never knew her before she arrived on the steps of our old house. That day I came out on the porch and saw right through the disguise, what regular people would see. A pretty, young woman in neat, tidy clothes, a student most likely. I saw the brand new combat boots, built for endurance and hard hits, the healing scrapes on her knuckles showing she was a brawler and that watchfulness, that stillness that meant she could spring on you in half a heart beat. I knew she was dangerous just like I know my son's are.

She makes them laugh, and vice versa. Dean and her torture poor Sammy like there's no tomorrow. I feel for Sam, two smartasses like that. I might have shot one of them by now. I worried at first about her slowing them down, or not being able to fight alongside them, not because of a lack of skill but because when you fight alone you grow accustomed to it. They work good together though. They fit together.

As I watch right now they're unloading the car at a little motel in a hole in wall town you'd be hard pressed to find unless you were looking for it. Dean is nudging Sam and pointing at the Jack who's walking a little ahead of them. Sam looks for a second and Dean claps his hand over Sam's mouth just he laughs out in surprise. Jack turns around and looks at the boys suspiciously for a second and heads inside her room in a rush to see what Dean's done. I have to fight not to laugh and give myself away when I catch a glimpse of what they were laughing at.

"I'm going to kick your ass!" Jack yells startling a nearby squirrel. She runs out of the room pulling the fruit shaped kitchen magnets off the back of her head.

"It wasn't me." Sam insists backing away from her. He can't pass for squeaky clean while he's gasping and laughing though. Dean isn't even trying to cover his ass he's almost falling over from laughing. They break out in a run as Jack goes tearing after them.

Kids, I think shaking my head.

-Fin


	5. Dean2

**Title: Family Portrait**

**Author: BlazeorFade**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Dean, Sam and Jack ruminate on each other. Told in the first person.**

**Disclaimer: I own Jack, but not the boys but y'all knew that already.**

**Dean-2**

Sam is my brother. Sam is my hunting responsibility. Sam is my best friend, even if I'm not his. I was proud of him when he got into college, he was the first in our family to manage that, and the Ivy Leagues no less. I was proud, but it hurt like hell to watch him go. It hurt that he didn't feel like he could tell me until the night he was leaving. I guess he thought I would tell dad or something, but I wouldn't have, I swear. And I've never broken my word when it came to Sam. That's probably the only area where my word means a damn.

Sam gets people. He knows how to be calm and sympathetic and the shoulder to cry on better than me. People just like Sam naturally as soon as they see him. The bastard doesn't even take advantage of the fact that chicks love brooders. They want to take you home and feed you cookies and cuddle. I tried it once, not my thing, I ended up hitting on her room mate and that kinda hurt my sad, good guy disguise, the room mate was great though…wonder if I still have her number?

Okay I'm getting off topic here(you would to if you'd seen her).

He's still too in love with Jess to go after girls and even if he was ready he was never the one night stand kind of guy. Don't know where I went wrong with him. (Jack: " Hypocrite." Me: "Yup, get over it.") I was hoping when he kissed Sarah that meant he was getting closer, you know becoming okay, but going to Jess's grave just brought it all right back to the surface. He's workin through it. Believe or not its a good thing we haven't had time off between hunts, it keeps him from going back into t hat head of his, that's never a good thing, trust me.

Between you and me I wonder if it'll ever be over for him. You can put up your guns and never look at a demonic text again but visions? Those aren't going to go away. Neither is the whole moving things with his mind stuff, but I don't want to tell him that.

He's been working with Jack on controlling those abilities, its slow going. I know he gets frustrated, I know Jack gets frustrated too. By the end of their lessons I usually have to stop them from killing each other. (Jack: "Are you sure you got into Stanford, cause you can't seem to learn." Sam: "This isn't Math genius, its moving things with my mind and at least there I had qualified teachers. Jack: "Ass." Sam: "Bite Me." Jack: "You wish.") But you can tell that underneath the arguing and aside from the headaches they're having fun. It's pretty cool to watch actually.

Sam worries about losing it one day. I can tell you right now that's not gonna fucking happen, not while I'm still alive and kicking. Of all of us I think he's probably the least likely to lose his mind, no he'll get his revenge and then go on get his life back. His life; law school, a wife and 2.5 kids that he won't tell about the big bad because he won't want them to be afraid and he'll keep a loaded .45 in his night table just in case something decides to go for him and his new family. He should really rethink the whole lawyer bit though. He's too good for that shit. I always thought he'd be a journalist or something, if he wasn't hunting. Don't know why, I just did. Maybe cause he was always so good at the research side of what we do. He can handle Normal, he's been there before, so he knows how to go through the motions. And he'd be good at it too.

Assuming he doesn't get himself killed while getting his revenge. I could have beat him senseless when he said he didn't care if he died. I care enough for the both of us, no one in this family is going to die again.

The demon said that Sam was Dad's favorite. Well, news flash fucker, I already knew that. I don't think Sam knew that though. Weird. But I guess even when you've grown up like we have its hard to get 'I love you' from 'Get your ass in the car and don't ever do that again.'

The thing that killed mom said it has plans for Sam and the other kids like him. Not sure what those plans are yet but I will and I'll stop it from happening.

Sammy gets obsessed. He gets consumed by the search for the demon and hates that we have to bat clean up while Dad is chasing down leads. I know he stays up late sometimes and searches for any scrap of information. I wonder who will find it again first, him or dad.

"Dean?" Sam is stopping in his tracks on the way to the car after casing a house that might be haunted. He stiffens and my hand goes to my gun and I step in front of him.

"What is it Sam?" I ask. Jack takes a place on Sam's other side. Sam puts a hand on my gun hand and on her shoulder.

"I thought I felt…" He squints, steps forward a few feet, looks in some vague direction in front of us before stopping, rubbing his forehead.

"Felt what?" Jack asks.

"I thought I felt…I don't know how to describe but I thought I felt dad." Sam said turning around looking at us with a perplexed expression.

"Dad?" I ask.

"I think I'm not getting enough sleep." Sam says shaking his head. He gives a small smile.

"Or your just crazy." I tell him. He punches my arm(damnit Sammy that hurt!) and climbs into the front seat.

Sam is my brother. And yeah…..that's all.

-Fin


	6. Sam2

**Title: Family Portrait**

**Author: BlazeorFade**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Dean, Sam and Jack ruminate on each other. Told in the first person.**

**Disclaimer: I own Jack, but not the boys but y'all knew that already.**

**Sam Winchester-2**

Jack is a sarcastic smart ass who dances around the truth as much as she can sometimes and yet so brutally honest at other times. I swear there were times when she was telling us about what happened to her where I just wanted to ask her to stop. But that would have been selfish and I've been accused of being a selfish bastard enough already. So I listened, I wasn't sure if it was alright to hug her or anything, somehow the revelation made her seem stronger and more fragile at the same time. I didn't know if it was okay to touch her after that though. But then Dean, Dean of all people, wrapped his arms around her and it kind of shocked me out of that line of thinking.

Jack gave me a few more memories of Jess that weren't burning and pain. Second hand memories, but that doesn't matter. Just knowing that she was okay makes me feel better. I'll never forgive myself but I think I might be able to live with some this unending guilt. I'll always be grateful for that.

After the rescue Jack stopped sleeping in separate rooms. Now we have a cot brought up from the motel management when we can or we figure something else out. Its a tight squeeze but a better arrangement. Don't know how long we'll do that for. Maybe Jack will want to go back to the other way when she's all healed up. Till then though she doesn't leave me or Dean's sight for more than a few minutes. As you can guess this ends up in our fair share of arguments but since Jack has gotten more protective over us as well, it usually ends in half hearted name calling.

Dad got an edited account of what happened in Oklahoma. He doesn't know it was Jack's ex or about her past. That stays between us. I feel like I dropped the ball, not knowing just how bad things must've been. Dean noticed more than me.

Jack has a side she doesn't show often. She likes to read. I couldn't believe it either. Its hard to imagine her sitting still long enough to read a book. But now that I've seen that she doesn't sit still even for that it makes more sense to me. Mostly adventure books and horror, Dean laughs about it. As if we don't have enough of those in our lives. I always wonder what it might have been like for her and Dean if things were different, if they would have gone to college and things like that if we weren't hunters. That's even harder to imagine.

Jack reads those letters at least once a week. I asked why once. Didn't it hurt? She said she didn't want to forget him. She's let her guard down enough to feel comfortable reading them in the backseat when we're driving instead of locking herself away to do it. Its a self preservation technique, keeping those close. If I had something of Jess's to keep close at all times I would.

Jack's one of the toughest people I've ever met and coming from a guy who grew up around Demon hunters and the like, that's saying something. The things that sucker punch her are the human things. The fucked up shit that had nothing to do with the supernatural and everything to do with feelings and vulnerability. How can I protect her form those kind of things? The answer is simple. I can't and it frustrates the living hell out of me.

Jack doesn't like being touched by most people. After awhile that changes a little. Letting me check her stitches, wrestling around with Dean, sings of affection and trust that take the place of hugs and words. Trust is such a huge issue, I feel like its one step forward and two steps back gaining it. I know she knows I'll be there in a fight, always backing her up but when its that 'real' stuff….damn.

"Sam, your thinking too much, its making my head hurt." Jack says when I walk out onto the porch of the place we've been laying low in.

"Haha." I say and she scoots over so I can sit down on the steps next to her.

"Wanna take a break from training today?" Jack asks. Yes I do, I'm exhausted and the lessons take a lot out of me.

"If you want." I say shrugging. She rolls her eyes.

"How do you find out about your ability?" I blurt out before I can stop myself. Yes those are teeth marks on my knees from where I swallowed my foot and the rest of my leg. Jack tenses up. Its too soon, I think, she told us the worst of her past and its too soon to ask her to dredge up memories again.

"I was taken from my uncle when I was around five. Did I ever tell you that?" Jack says.

"No." I answer, think I would have remembered that.

"Yeah it was hit or miss the first few years with him and someone made the phone call. They placed me with a family and they were nice enough but they weren't mine." Jack continued. "Anyway I got in a fight with one of the other foster kids and the foster mother said something about it being my poor upbringing to blame. I got so mad and it just happened. Nothing big but the curtains caught on fire. A couple days later I was back home."

"Were you scared?" I ask.

"Yeah." Jack says.

"How did you find out about yours, I know you moved a dresser or something but why did you need to?" Jack asks.

"Dean was in trouble and it just came out." I answer. No other explanation needed. She knows. "When I needed it awhile back it wouldn't work. And Dean almost died." This last part I can't meet her eyes when I say it.

"I hated it when he first died. I thought if it couldn't have helped him then what good was it?" Jack confided.

"How'd you get over that?" I ask eagerly.

"I helped my friends with it." She smiles and I know she means me and Dean as well as her friends in Birmingham.

"Help me inside." She says getting to her still sensitive feet. I wrap an arm around her waist and help her inside. And she lets me.

-Fin


	7. Jack2

**Title: Family Portrait**

**Author: BlazeorFade**

**Rating: T**

**Summary: Dean, Sam and Jack ruminate on each other. Told in the first person.**

**Disclaimer: I own Jack, but not the boys but y'all knew that already.**

**Jack Fontenot-2**

Actions speak louder than words, right? Well Dean can talk for hours about nothing at all, he can bullshit his way out of any situation, except when it comes to cops. Then the man can't seem to keep his big mouth shut. Its not the b.s. that tells about the man though. Its his actions, the subtle nuances. The way he gets coffee even when we're at each others throats and finds a way of comforting Sam without compromising what makes him Dean. When something really matters though, that's when you should listen close to what Dean says.

"You okay little brother?" He'll call from down on the ground after something nasty has just come close to kicking our collective asses.

When he looks away for a second, not quite meetin my eye and speaks I know what he just said has more honesty than what most people say in a year. Cause that's what he does. Its harder for him to find the words. Sam with me, if it weren't for Sam we'd be mutes when the serious shit hit the fan, only speaking of tactics and fighting. But that's okay cause "Don't let him get your blind spot." And "Damnit don't what were you thinking!" Really mean "I've had stitch you up once this week, lets not repeat." and "I don't like seeing you get hurt."

Dean's got more guilt than anyone else I've ever met. It comes with the territory of having to take care of people all your life, being someone's safety net but feeling like no one is yours. That last part…that just isn't true. Dean has people at his back and I know he knows that somewhere deep down inside. I hope he knows that deep down inside. Tucson still haunts him. I'd kill that thing a thousand times over if it meant he'd stop blaming himself, but I can't an he won't. He carries around the weight of that dead woman on his shoulders. He even has her obit tucked into that box of photos of his family before the demon killed Mary. I feel weird calling her Mary. Lets just stick with Sam and Dean's mom. Alright?

He let me see the pictures. It was a big deal, though none of us spoke about it. He trusted me to look at them before everything went bad. I almost didn't want to touch them, it was something clean, not bad and I didn't want any of me on them. Does that make sense? Probably not. He's so protective of those vestiges of the past, and he was so proud when I told him how beautiful his mom was. Grinned from ear to ear and sort of shrugged awkwardly. It was cute.

Sometimes I wonder about what he'll do if the demon is ever found and killed. Keep hunting is the most logical conclusion, but I don't think John wants to do this forever. Will Dean be able to deal with that? Dean doesn't think Sam will want to stay this way either, I don't know about that. I'll still be here though, if I survive that long.

Would he still want me around if it was him and me on the open road? I can't imagine this ride without Sammy there.

Dean is a caretaker, a protector. I think even if things hadn't gone down the way they did, he'd still be like that. Its just the way Dean is. I imagine if he wasn't a hunter he'd be something that helps people. Not a cop, bleh, he ain't bacon material. But like a firefighter or paramedic or something like that. Maybe a rescue worker.

Sometimes I want to hit John when he orders Dean around from far away. I get that things need to be done but seriously, dud, he's your son, not you cadet. Sam will turn around and tell him to go to hell. Not the best approach. When Dean raises his voice to John (I've only seen this done once) its shocking. He put his foot down when John tried to send us on a job too soon after that (cough)incident. He even hung up on him. I thought maybe I was mixing meds and was seeing things.

I get Dean. I always have. I know where he's coming from. I'm surprised when other people don't. I mean is it that hard to decipher? According to Sam yes, yes it is.

I'm so tired. Its early as shit and I know in a minute Dean's gonna walk through the door and tell me to move my ass. Sure enough.

"Jack, you up?" He's asking as he walks through the door. Damn him and his wakefulness, he's obviously already had his coffee.

"Mhmsd." That's me, Miss Verbal Communication.

"I don't speak lazy ass." Dean says as I stumble to my feet.

"Coffee?" I ask rubbing my eyes.

"Your breath reeks." He grins. I punch him in the arm and he laughs.

"Brush your teeth then you can have some." He says moving the coffee holder behind his back. I eye him suspiciously. He better have done domething to that coffee, he already got me back for the chili powder thing. He put fucking MAGNETS on my head!

"Just go." He says steering me to the bathroom. A short shower later I'm minty fresh and wanted my caffeine in an i.v. taped to my arm.

"Coffee." Is the first thing I say. Sam looks up from the table. He came back while I was in the shower, but now Dean's gone missing.

"We gotta work on your communication skills." Sam says and pushes a Starbucks cup in my direction.

"Starbucks?" I ask eyeing the cup. It looks like one of those fancy coffees Dean says he wouldn't be caught dead ordering.

"Dean got it. Don't worry its safe." Sam laughs at the way I eye the cup like its going to bite me. Its Dean though so you can't be too careful.

I lift up the cup and take a tentative sip and low and behold its not booby trapped.

"Good?" Sam asks with an eyebrow raised in amusement. I can only nod.

I remember something about telling Dean this was m favorite awhile back.

"God your up, now get your ass in gear." Dean says coming back inside. I don't need to say thank you and he doesn't need to acknowledge the moment.

Its little things like that that make Dean, Dean.

-FIN


End file.
